I have a home. I FINALLY HAVE A HOME. I’ve never been so excited to live in a small, rundown studio apartment but it’s better than nothing. It’s actually not that bad and I’m actually excited to live on my own. I can be weird to my full potential without people judging me and I can most definitely watch my guilty pleasure Keeping Up With the Kardashians on full volume. I mean those people are cray. It’s like a train wreck gone wrong. I must watch it all. Also Scott Disick is my spirit animal. He walks around and looks at everyone like “peasants, bow down.” It’s fabulous. He’s fabulous. Unlike Miley Cyrus who has taken quite a dive down the “you’re insane” hole that she’s almost where Amanda Bynes is…it’s not quite because Miley doesn’t think everyone is ugly. She scares me so much. I am terrified of her now. People are like “Don’t judge her because she’s famous and rich and blah and blah.” I’m just like “Listen, I’m not judging her because she’s famous, rich or blah blah blah, I’m judging her because she did whatever she did during the VMAs. I’m also talking about Amanda Bynes. I can judge her if I please. They are doing it to themselves. I give everyone full permission to judge me if I ever do what either of them have done.
Anyways, I am just glad to no longer be on homeless status and now I can finally start apartment shopping! It’s gonna be the cutest, weirdest, rundown studio apartment anyone have ever seen. Watch out HGTV, you got a new interior decorator on your hands…aka give me a job.