RomComs. The biggest lie the media industry will ever tell you. Maybe I’m being bitter but it’s the truth. I just got done watching Crazy Stupid Love and I am absolutely in love with it. Ryan Gosling doing the dirty dancing move without a shirt? Count me in any day. Also Emma Stone is gorgeous and Steve Carell is hilarious. It’s an amazing movie but it makes me so bitter.
I haven’t been in a relationship since 7th grade and let’s be honest, 7th grade does not count. I think the moment I hit puberty, I developed a certain aura about me that said “FRIENDZONE ONLY”. It’s really annoying. Why is it so hard to find a guy who loves you for your personality and finds you beautiful when you look like shit? Oh right because that doesn’t exist. Also I’m a hopeless romantic. I never want to believe that chivalry is dead. IT CAN’T DIE. I WON’T LET IT. I am such a sucker for a romantic gesture. When someone remembers little details about you, I’m like “wow, you actually remembered that? I should give you a gold star for that one.” then I proceed to place a gold star on their forehead and make them king. I dunno I went somewhere weird with that. I, however, realized that in order for me to experience romantic situations, I need to be able to communicate with a boy without completely hyperventilating and losing the ability to talk. Oh yeah, I flirt like a potato.
“I like your knees, they seem to hold up your torso nicely.”
That’s me…flirting. One day I hope a boy will reply with a “WOW thanks, that is the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me. let’s go get married and I’ll buy you everything you want, also did I mention I’m the prince of England?” yeah that would be reaaaally nice. So any time now.
So if you came here to look for dating/flirting/romance advice. Go somewhere else. Anywhere else. Run while you can.
So yeah, this all spurred from watching Ryan Gosling and Emma Stone being all cute and sexy. It’s annoying when two sexy people get together and be sexy together. It’s really annoying.
So now I’m watching Shrooms. A horror movie about a bunch of kids who travel all the way to Ireland to eat shrooms because they couldn’t do that in the US because drugs aren’t accessible there and it’s totally against the law so why would anyone do that? We are law abiding citizens and that is unholy of us. God Bless America. Yup. I’m done. Thanks for reading.