You know what I really dislike to the point of hate?
When people comment on my laugh.
I get that I have a loud and distinct laugh. I have spent 19 years with myself and if I don’t know how loud my laugh is by now I am the most dense person in the universe. I get it. I get that my laugh causes earthquakes and avalanches and that you can hear it all the way in China. I don’t need you pointing it out for me. Maybe your laugh isn’t loud enough or maybe you’re stupid and I don’t like you. It’s seriously like pointing out that I’m short or that I’m asian. I know. I live with myself. I KNOW.
Also I don’t like it when people have the need to say “You have a loud laugh but I like it.”
Why do you have to put a but in there? It’s like saying “You kind of look like Kim Jong Il but I like it.”
“You remind me of my dead goldfish but I like it.” “Your head is shaped like a melon but I like it.” Do you? Do you like it? If you like it so much then why don’t you marry it? Just kidding, why would I marry you? You think my laugh is loud, I remind you of your dead goldfish, I look like Kim Jong Il, one of the worst human beings in history and you think my head is shaped like a melon. I don’t care if you like it.
If you point out one more time how loud my laugh is, it’s going to the last thing you hear right before I bury you alive.
How loud is my laugh now? HUH?!