An end of fall semester blog.
This semester has been the roughest time of my life but I made it. I reached the end and I’m okay. I survived. So far that is the biggest accomplishment of my life. There were times when I really thought I would never make it to see December. There were points when I was beyond hurt and falling apart. I hit rock bottom, actually more like rock bottom hit me. Right in the face. Like BAM, GOTCHA. I climbed out though and I don’t climb so praise. Even with all the crap that happened, I’m thankful. Because of that crap, I met some amazing people, realized what friendship means, discovered the glory of One Tree Hill and Long Island Medium, found a better perspective on life, and finally understood that sometimes your best doesn’t cut it but you should never let that hurt you because you did all that you could and if it doesn’t work out, it’s not meant to me. I became a better person. I’m okay with the large amounts of crap that I had to endure. I am now free. I understand that life isn’t perfect and there will be days when I feel like shit again but I have to keep reminding myself that in the end, it’s going to be okay.
I also stopped friendzoning God. I got closer to him and I understand now that he was with me the whole time. I mean I’m like “You know you could’ve like sent me a text or something instead of months of this?” or “You could’ve given me like a warning or something, like ‘LOOK OUT, A SHARKNADO OF A SHIT STORM IS COMING YOUR WAY, fyi.'”
I found peace and pieces of myself I left behind. Woah, that was deep, someone write that down, oh wait…nevermind.
I always thought that happiness came in sparks and sadness was the low, burning ember through the night but sparks can turn into flame if they catch on at the right moment. WOAAAAH, DAT WAS SO DEEP I NEED ME SOME SCUBA GEARRRRRR.
Well anyway, I want to live my life better. I want to stop dwelling on things and stop being suffocated by worries and shame. I want to look in the mirror every day and be able to tell myself that I am a strong, independent black woman who don’t need no man to bring her happiness. I want to be able to walk around in sweats and still throw my hands in the air and yell “I’m FAAAAAAAAAABULOUS.”
I need to strive to be more like Beyonce every day. Yes. I’m going to get a huge poster of Beyonce pointing at me with the caption “GET OFF YOUR LAZY ASS AND BE MORE LIKE ME.” I mean look at her.
She is straight up fabulous and then she’s like “What are you doing, peasant?”
Then she’s like “I know they are dancing behind me, does it look like I care? No, you know what I look like? Fabulous.”
So here’s to being more like Beyonce. Being fabulous and giving your best. Always be a good person, no matter what the circumstance. Learn to let go. Find two other girls, start a group, make like two memorable songs and then go solo. Win 17 grammy awards and an infinite amount of other awards. Marry Jay-Z and have a baby named Blue Ivy. Oh also, always have hope.