People pick up penny (head side up) in hopes to find good luck.
I picked up a penny today, dropped my coke, it exploded everywhere. Excuse me? Isn’t this supposed to be lucky? Is this a joke? Because I sure as hell not laughing. I also went to the other side of my campus only to realized I parked on the opposite side. I’m not too upset about it because my entire life is just a constant state of awkward. I however do believe that I passed my religion final so huzzah, let us rejoice. Also I got me some hibachi and I’m all about them noms.
So I guess my day wasn’t too bad. Only a few awkward moments. I also came to ultimate realization that some people are assholes. People lie and people cheat. People don’t think about anything but themselves. If it doesn’t benefit them, they won’t do it. When things get rough, they’ll leave. People will hurt you. I used to let these people dominate my entire life. I am the type of person that dwells on the bad so I always wondered what I did wrong but I realized I didn’t do shit. Some people are just not meant to be in your life, no matter how much you try. Upon realizing the people I had to let go, I realized that I have some people in my life that I treasure dearly. People that don’t focus on my flaws but realizes that my flaws aren’t who I am. I find peace in that. I’m so lucky. I want to give a shout out to one of my best friends, Philip. We’ve been friends for about 5 years and to me that’s an immense amount of time. I never had a best friend for that long. I always lost those I cared about. I have more people in my life that I say “Oh she used to be my best friend.” With him, I don’t have to say that and I never want to say that about him.. We’ve been through some rough times but I know that it was to allow us to realize that we can fight through anything. He is really one of those friends that I can say that the rough times made us stronger and closer. Also he’s a cutie pie so I got real lucky. I mean look at him. He is legit the most precious.
So there are people in your life you got to let go. Something fighting for it is pointless. It’s like trying to revive a dead horse. It took me a while for me to realize that I was performing CPR on a dead horse. I am disgusted because the idea of performing CPR on a horse is a very disturbing image for me but I’m also disappointed in myself but I don’t regret a thing. I can find peace in the fact that I did try my best. I gave it my all. My all might not be enough but that’s not my fault. I don’t have to be enough. If I’m not enough for someone then tough, I’ll find someone else that I am enough for. I know I’m not perfect but being perfect is not something I need to be. Let’s just say I found closure within myself that I have never found before. I love my life despite all of the crap that happens. I’m just glad that at the end of the day, I have people that care about me and people that love me unconditionally. I’m not rich or famous but I do believe I am the luckiest person in the world. I’m learning to love myself and it is the weirdest feeling ever. Like I’m about to go stand in front of the mirror and hit on myself but with my record, I probably won’t go out with myself.
What I want to say is that you can learn to be happy. It’s a very tough course and there is a lot of homework and tests. You have to learn to let go of people that are no longer there. You just gotta lift your head up high, do a sassy hair flip and strut your fine ass out of that relationship. OWN IT. WORK. GET IT. SEXY FACE SEXY FACE. PERFECT. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL DAAAARLING. sorry, I got a little carried away.
But yeah, love yourself because at the end of the day, you are all you have so you got to be able to look at yourself in the mirror and say “DAAAAAYUM, I AM FABULOUS.”
PS: I started vlogging. So check it out. I’m a mess but it’s whatevskis. Here I’ll give you the link. CLICK ME.