Two Decades Later…

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 20. I’m getting old. Ew. Anyways, I woke up to many “Happy Birthday” posts on my facebook and various texts from friends. You know who your real life friends are from who texts you happy birthday instead of posting it on your facebook. Maybe they’ll do both. OH of course, you have to have someone make a pic stitch of you, I mean if they don’t, is it even your birthday? It’s the same as if you don’t post a picture of your dinner, did you reaaally have dinner? Instagram or it didn’t happen.

However I can promise you, my birthday did happen. I never like celebrating my birthday too much. The attention scares me. I’m not used to it. Also I’ve always had this fear that if I did anything for my birthday, no one would show up. I’ve seen enough movies and Disney shows to know that happens. Being an anti-social does that to you sometimes. Anyways, I went to Dick’s Last Resort for the first time. The service was sassy and the food was good. Also those hats they give you are hilarious. I mean mine said “Candles aren’t the only things I’m blowing tonight.” It was fun. I always enjoy quality time spent with friends and I prefer it if the quality time involves food. Afterwards, we headed to Play, the fabulous gay club in this beautiful city of Nashville. I absolutely love that place. The drag show is always so on point and the people are so friendly. I also love playing the game “Spot the Straight”, quite self explanatory. I also always leave that place with at least one new gay friend. They might remember me the next day but for the night, we are best friends. This time, my new best friend was Caleb. A fabulous, skinny man with a red hat with spikes on it. I met him in the women’s restroom. Usually after midnight, all rules and inhibitions go straight out the window and it’s a freaking free for all. I sure do love the gays and the drags. They are such fabulous people. I mean drag queens are better females than actual females and damn, the way they dance in those heels. WHAAT. The whole LGBTQ community is so accepting. It’s hard not to love them all. I mean even with the hardship they have to go through for no reason, they are still fabulous. I think it’s stupid that people have to even come out. If straight people don’t have to come out, why should gays? I just imagine someone going to their parents and being like “Mom, dad, I have something to tell you guys, so I’ve been noticing this for a while and I can’t control it. I just want you to know that I was born with this and I hope that you guys can still love me, so well anyways, I’m straight.” Then there’s a silence and the mom looks up and puts a hand on her child and is like “I will always love you no matter who you love.” Does that ever happen? NO. So why the hell should that happen to gays? I think the fact that we are programmed to think that our child is supposed to be straight is a mistake. We shouldn’t assume roles on our child before they are even born. We never know who our child is going to be. Life isn’t a freaking Sims game. You don’t custom make your child. Your child might be born liking the same sex or the opposite. Don’t assume they are going to always love the opposite sex. Stop caring too much about who loves who and just live your own life.

I keep thinking about the fact that I’m 20 now. That is really gross. I’m getting older and I’m having to grow up. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to grow up. I don’t want adult responsibilities. I WANT TO STAY A CHILD FOREVERRR. At least I beat teen pregnancy and in this time, that’s an accomplishment, which is sad. Do I get a medal or something though? I mean I think if that was a thing, less teenagers would get pregnant. Right? “Congratulation, you aren’t preggers, there are the keys to the city and a bugatti. Thanks for being smart.” If you’re going to have sex, use protection you idiots. It’s called protection, it’s a good thing. It’s meant to help you. I don’t care if it’s uncomfortable. It’s better than having a baby when you’re 16. You can barely take care of yourself and you think you can handle a baby? Babies aren’t a walk in the park. They are another human being you have to raise. You are responsible for a life and you are sitting around like it’s nothing because you want to have like 3 minutes of a good time. Jesus, get your head out of your ass and think about other people for a second, like the baby you are going to have to raise. I don’t want to get too into it but I’m just saying, for the sweet love of God, stop being a dumbass. OH also now I can finally openly relate to those “for twenty something year olds” lists everyone keeps posting. FINALLY. My life is now complete, I can finally read those articles and belong. I JUST WANT TO FIT IN TO YOUR TWENTY YEAR OLDS’ WORLD.

However, upon turning two decades old, I have decided that this year is going to be different. I don’t know how but I’m going to be happier. I’m going to focus on those I love and those who love me rather than place my energy on people that left and wondering why. I’m going to learn to let go of the unanswered questions. I can’t control what other people do, if they want to leave, then for the love of God, there’s the door. Don’t let me stop you. I’m done fighting for people who won’t fight for me. I’m going try harder in my classes, which is still TBD. I’m going to be a better daughter, friend, and person. I’m going to go on more adventures so that this blog isn’t boring as F. I’m going to learn more things so that I can share them with you all. 2014 is going to be a TBD year and I’m okay with that. I don’t know what’s going to happen but I’m going to try and remind myself of the good through it all. Life is full of difficulties but life would be so boring without them. Always remember that even if it’s difficult, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done. There is always an end. There is always hope. Hold onto that. It’s another year. We have 365 days to be freaking awesome.

Thank you to everyone that were there for me this last year. Thank you for staying by my side. Thank you loving me at my worst. Thank you for never judging me. I hope to spend this year doing the same for you. Let’s go have adventures together.




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