In the beautiful state of Tennessee, the weather decided to hate everyone. I’m dying. I can’t feel my legs. My face is frozen into an eternal frown and my nose feels like it’s about to fall off. I can feel my blood freezing. As you can tell, I’m cold. REALLY COLD. I hate the cold. I’ve lived in warm climates my entire life. For heaven’s sake, I lived 13 years in the Middle East WHERE IT’S HOT ALL THE TIME. I didn’t come to the south to freeze my face off. Besides the terrible drop in weather, I had a pretty good day. I realized that I understand more french than I expected except I’m still behind. My philosophy professor is hilarious. He reminded me a little of Shawn Spencer from Psych. Well his humor did anyway. And that was it. THAT WAS MY DAY. TWO CLASSES BABY. WHAT?! HOLLA! HOLLA WITH ME. YES. Then tomorrow, I have ONE CLASS. ONE CLASS. My earliest class is at 11! I however have two online classes. I’m a bit scared about them but you know what, YOLO. Yeah I said it. YOLO. This cold is making me delusional. I’m too cold to walk over and turn on my heater. I was so happy to see everyone again. I missed so many people and didn’t realize it until I saw some of them. I want to make this semester my semester somehow. I want to spend this semester being happy. I think I can do it if I truly believe. BELIEVE AND YOU SHALL ACHIEVE. I really need to go into the motivational speaking business. Just yell out a bunch of inspiring quotes and point at people and challenge them. I would also have a very white smile. I feel like motivational speakers spend at least half of their salary whitening their teeth. Also hand motions, motivational speaking is all about hand motions. Can that be a major? Teaching people to be motivational. Now that would be the most optimistic class I would ever take. “WELCOME TO CLASS! THIS IS GOING TO BE THE BEST CLASS ON THIS AMAZING DAY! OPEN UP YOUR AMAZING BOOK AS WELL AS YOUR AMAZING MIND. BELIEVE YOU CAN LEARN. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. YOU ARE AMAZING. YOU ARE A WINNER.” Was that good enough? I think so.
The rest of the day was spent running all around town trying to get air into my tires. For the life of me, I could not figure out how to work the stupid air pump at this one gas station and the rest of the gas stations I went to HAD THE EXACT SAME PUMP. So I drove around everywhere. I even downloaded an app. That’s a big deal. If I have to download an app for it, I’m serious about it. I was serious about it. I got it done though. GOT DAT AIR IN DEM TIRES. HOLLA. HOLLA WITH ME! COME ON. LET’S HOLLA TOGETHER. That would be a part of my motivational speaking. HOLLAing. REALLY LOUD. AM I SCREAMING IN YOUR HEAD? I hope so. Every motivational speaker needs a thing they yell to the audience and have them yell back. Mine is going to be HOLLA. “CAN I HEAR A HOLLA? HOLLA! YEAH HOLLA WITH ME.” We would all be HOLLAing at each other until the room explodes. What a fun time. Anyways, I’ve recently gotten super into Gilmore Girls and I’m practicing my ability to talk really fast with a lot of sarcastic witty comments. Also if you refer back to my new year’s resolution list, it’s on there somewhere to drink more coffee. This is also a very important factor into being more like the Gilmore Girls. Good job, Jonny. Way to be on your A game. See, I motivate myself. God, I’m good. My blog is now a motivational, Lorelai Gilmore like blog about random crap that happens in life. You’re welcome.
Also I want to take a moment to appreciate all of you. Seriously. This is my dream. My dream is to write and have people read it. You guys are fulfilling my dream. Thank you. It means the world to me that you guys decide to read random crap I write. I’m in love with all of you. Oh wait…was that too soon? Oh man…this got awkward. I’m sorry. I just meant that I really like you. I enjoy your company. I like hanging out with you. I’m not in love with you…yet. I MEAN NO WE ARE JUST FRIENDS. FRIENDS FOREVER. BIFFLES. BESTIES. WHAT? But in all seriousness, you guys mean a lot to me. One day I want to be able write to a bigger audience for a living and if I do ever get there, you guys are the reasons of how I got there. I’ll write about you guys in my autobiography because I’m in love with you. OH MY GOD. SORRY. I keep letting that slip. I’m just delusional from the cold. Yeah let’s go with that.
You guys are great. I like your shirt. That’s a nice shirt. Also did you do something different with your hair? Because I’m loving it. You work that do! Gosh, you are so smart like smarter than Einstein. You are so pretty. You should be a model. Okay I’m done.
After all this, I’m still FREEZING MY ASS OFF. Literally, I feel like my ass can fall off and I won’t notice because I CAN’T FEEL MY BODY. The window just tried to blow my door down. I GET IT. THANKS WEATHER. I HATE YOU TOO.