You Best Beliebe it.

It was in the middle of french class when I learned that Justin Bieber got arrested for drunk driving and resisting arrest. It’s about damn time that little punk went to jail. I never liked Justin Bieber except for that split second when I watched his movie and I was like “aw he okay.” I mean he was up on screen, singing about telling people things one time but repeating it over and over. He had his swoopy hair and grey and purple jacket. Then he started doing his concerts completely stoned out of his mind, forgetting how to wear pants properly, spiking up his hair higher than the Tower of Babel and always looking like he’s surprised, he does that whole thing where he lifts his eyebrows and his forehead crinkles and he’s trying to look sexy but he looks like a surprised botox patient. Recently, he also egged his neighbor’s house? Who eggs houses anymore? What is this? 2005? Get it together, Justin. Also $20,000 worth of damage?! Where in hell do you find enough eggs to cause $20,000 worth of damage? I wonder what the cashier was thinking. “They must really like omelettes.” Oh and after a raid, they find cocaine in his house and his friend claim that it isn’t Justin’s but his own. Riiiiiight, Justin. Letting your friend take the fall makes a real man out of you. Now he is drinking and driving and resisting arrest? I swear just because you have a bunch of little girls screaming for you does not make it okay for you to drink and drive. He is a smug, cocky little asshole. I do not like him. He needs to be put in his place. Celebrities think they are all so great that they think it’s okay to drink and drive. Anyone who thinks that it’s okay to drink and drive need to be put in their place. Just because you’re being stupid does not mean someone else should get injured or die because of it. And seriously, the way he dresses makes me think he gets dressed in the dark with a blindfold on. LEARN HOW TO WEAR PANTS. YOU ARE 19 FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE. GROW UP AND PULL UP YOUR PANTS. Ratchet. THE MOST RATCHET. Also after trying to find a picture of him on google, he doesn’t know how to wear a shirt either. JESUS CHRIST, JUSTIN, IT REALLY ISN’T THAT HARD TO PUT ON CLOTHES. Also the whole “myspace angle” selfies need to stop. Like no. You stop that. Right now. Stop. ew. No. Out.

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-Jonny

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