London, The City of Terrible Wifi, Expensive Everythings and Glorious Dreams

Hola, my people.

So I am in London and I will be in London for about a month, studying literature, which is kind of like a dream come true but classes haven’t started yet so I can’t be too sure. I will try and write about my experience here because I discovered that my life is basically a mess of stories that needs to be told.
Let me just say that jet lag is killer. Nothing too special happened when we got here. We got situated and tried to not die from the tiredness. My friend and I explored the area a but and dinner came and we met people in our classes so we could be better acquainted like orientation all over again. Nothing like feeling like a freshman again.

“Hey, what’s your name? What’s your major? Where you from?”

After dinner, a few of us decided to spontaneously see Big Ben, which was a blast and three quarters. I mean look at this picture.

Screen Shot 2014-07-12 at 10.33.03 PM

What a stud, am I right?

After we just kind of kept walking around and exploring and then eventually ended up at a pub. We made some new friends, created some memories and made London our lover. The typical Friday night stuff.
There is one interesting thing I learned from last night’s experience; just because a boy has an accent does not mean he’s not a douche. Apparently British boys don’t like to approach girls, well at least the british boys around this neighborhood. They just kind of stare at you and it’s like “okay? you trying to talk or naw?”

Also I meant to post the first part this morning but obviously that didn’t happen. I kind of forgot how to function this morning like usual.

So I’m gonna fill you in on today as well because I know you are just dying to know, you nosy son of a gun.

Second day, we had our orientation for classes and safety and stuff afterwards we went on a city bus tour. It was pretty rad. It was just the usual tourist-y stuff. After the tour, a couple of friends and I decided to explore Central London by ourselves. Our first destination was food because I mean do you know me? After food, we headed towards the London Eye. The line was too long and it was hot as the blazing rage of a thousands suns. We decided to go another time when people weren’t thirsting after the London Eye.

We decided to go to the National Gallery by Trafalgar Square, the home of the giant blue chicken statue. I mean there are other things like the Nelson Column commemorating the victory of the battle of Trafalgar and the National Gallery with numerous classical masterpieces but there is literally a giant blue chicken statue just chilling there.

See, here I am posing with my new friend, the giant blue chicken.

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We are too fresh to death.

We saw art. Some artworks had the most obvious names such as the one called “A man aged 38” and he was holding a paper that read 38. Here’s the painting and yes there are a lot of pictures in this post. Let us build a bridge and get overeth.

LEYDEN-Lucas-van-A-Man-aged-38

Like I get that it’s a masterpiece and the details are awesome and blah blah blah but like does he really need to hold a paper with a 38. Was he like “yo, no one is going to believe I’m 38, make sure people know, okay?” Was he just really passionate about being 38? I mean it was like a big deal to live past the age of 30 back then in the 1500s, right? He just looks so proud to be 38. He’s just thinking, “Hell yeah 38 you ratchet hoes ain’t got nothing on me.”

Because of these marvelous paintings, I decided to have some fun. There is an example provided below.

photo (7)

Soon after this enlightening time, we headed to Buckingham Palace. I just really wanted to see the royal corgis. I mean imagine the queen just strolling out in the courtyard of Buckingham palace with the corgis on a leash, playing catch and letting her servant pick up the poop. I would guess that she has people that take them out for walks but once in a while, she would want to do it herself and in front of a hundred tourists. Fabulous. After leaving the home of dreams, we went to Harrods, the big fancy department store THAT HAS NO PLACE TO SIT. We had been walking all day and the walk to Harrods made me think that setting myself on fire would’ve been a better idea. We were hungry, tired and our feet were screaming profanity that put all other profane words to shame. Once we finally left Harrods, we tried to find a little cafe to sit and relax but it was like they were all hiding from us. After a terrible search, we got food and we headed back home.

Today was exhausting. Yesterday was exhausting. Life is exhausting. I’m exhausted but I am so deeply in love with this city. This place might have terrible wifi, frightening drivers, expensive everythings and horrible conversion rates but it’s a place of beautiful dreams and unicorns and rainbows and magic. I might never leave.

Thanks for putting up with this long ass post. I’ll keep things short from now on. You guys are great.

-Jonny

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