Scotland: Powered by Haggis, Tea and A Whole Lot of Hills

Edinburgh, Scotland.

That will be my new address.

In the future. Not now. Sadly.

So yeah, we went to Edinburgh for the weekend and I am in love. I want Edinburgh to have my babies. That makes no sense. 

We stayed at the University of Edinburgh, which is where I will be transferring to if I ever become a millionaire in the next few days. Their beds were magical. Well compared to the one at King’s. I seriously loved everything about that city. I knew from the moment I got off the train that Edinburgh was going to be my new home. Everything about this city is beautiful. The streets are pretty. The buildings are pretty. The people are pretty. The sky is pretty…grey. The mountains are pretty. The hills are pretty and alive with the sound of music. It’s just pretty.

On the first day there, we decided to climb Arthur’s seat, which is about 822 ft high but the climb goes all around the damn hill so it’s like 134956920 miles. I don’t know why Arthur had to climb that damn high for a seat. Why couldn’t he just stay on the ground? Wouldn’t it be better to sit there instead of on a hill that is 822 ft high? How drunk was this guy? He climbs a dormant volcano and he’s like “I think I’m going to sit riiiiight here.” Yeah, it’s a volcano. 

Look at this view though.

 

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Like daaaayum.

Now look at me trying to raise my demonic minions from the top of the world like a true villian.

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After climbing that thing, I don’t ever need to exercise again. I am now permanently fit. Perma-fit. Thanks, Arthur. 

After the leg torturing, we climbed ourselves up, tried to resuscitate ourselves, had dinner where I tried haggis, it was much creamier than I thought it would be and then headed out to explore Edinburgh. We basically just walked around until we found a place to sit and then we walked around some more.

The next day, we decided to go to Edinburgh Castle. It was pretty cool. I mean it was a castle. Castles are always cool. 

After the castle, we tried to find the Elephant House, which is where JK Rowling wrote the first Harry Potter book so basically the most important place in the entire universe. We got there and it was everything I ever wanted it to be. It was cute, it was cheap and it was filled with elephants. Like real elephants, just running around the cafe, destroying things. I will never know how Rowling got any work done in there with all those elephants just stomping around, flinging their trunks like they own the place or something. 

When we got done eating, we headed out to find the grave of Tom Riddle aka Voldie. We basically walked around a graveyard for like 15 minutes trying to find a grave of a fictional character. It wasn’t creepy at all. Of course, Tom Riddle is a fictional character but Thomas Riddell isn’t. He was the inspiration for the name. So basically JK Rowling randomly stumbled into this graveyard, started walking around, found the tomb and was like, “Hmm, that sounds like a good ol’ jolly name for the most evil wizard ever.” That’s not creepy either.

We then headed out to shop, get lost a little and then end the night with some good music and great company. 

The last day, today, was an interesting one. It was our last day. We got on a bus and drove about an hour out to tour Walter Scott’s house which was cool but it took waaay too long. I was hungry, tired and just not feeling it. The most interesting part of the day was when my friend, Sarah, lost her Britrail pass. The Britrail pass is what we need to get on the train so we can travel around England. It costs about $500. Because we were the greatest friends in the world, Zack and I decided to stay with her to look for this darn thing. So we trekked our way back all the way across what was basically downtown Edinburgh, the hilliest city in the world, to find out that the people at the university aren’t the best at looking for things because we got up to her room and immediately found it under the chair in the room. They said they looked twice. I don’t know where they were looking but they must’ve been terrible at Hide and Seek when they were younger. People they were playing with are probably still hiding, waiting to be found. 

Finding it was a glorious moment. A thousand angels descending from the Heavens and sang in unison as we screamed and danced for joy. We screamed so loud, we woke up people all the way in China. My friend clutched onto that piece of paper like a newborn baby. All was good in the world and she didn’t have to pay a crap ton because a few people suck at Hide and Seek. When we got back to London, we rewarded ourselves with Chipotle and ice cream. 

Okay like Chipotle is my everything. It has been the best meal since I’ve been here and I almost cried. If I could marry Chipotle, I would. Just call me Mrs. Chipotle.

Anyways, Edinburgh has stolen my heart. I did not find an attractive Scottish boy to whisk my away with his bagpipe skills while wearing a kilt but this isn’t my last time in Scotland so it will happen, I promise you. Edinburgh, you are a place I can call home. Leaving you was the hardest thing. I would give anything to go back. I will probably end up trying to plan to move there after I graduate.

-Jonny

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