I think a lot of us spend our lives trying to fit in. We throw parts of ourselves away in order to be a part of something that we think is cool. We try so hard to belong. We fear being ostracized so much that eventually we stop being ourselves. This might all just be me but I think we all do a little bit of it once in a while. I mean who doesn’t want to fit in?
I’ve been thinking a lot about belonging. I have come to the conclusion that I do not belong to this world. “Well that’s a weird conclusion to come to, Jonny. You’re weird.” Yes, I know. I never fit in anywhere. I never really belonged anywhere. I tried my whole life to find a place, to feel completely comfortable in my skin and in the place I am in. I tried so hard. I have not found it. I don’t really think I ever will. I know, I’m just 20, I have no idea what I’m talking about. I’m serious though. I don’t think life is about fitting in. I think society wants us to believe that. I think the world we live in try to feed us this concept of throwing yourself away in order to belong, that who you are isn’t good enough. We summarize this in the word “normal”. No one is normal. We all have quirks about us that society won’t approve of and that’s fine. It’s fine to not belong. You don’t have to belong anywhere. You weren’t meant to belong to a society where they tell you that your likes and dislikes are wrong. You really don’t have to try so hard. People will hate you and people will judge you regardless of who you are. It’s just the way the world works and sometimes it’s hard to swallow but it’s just what it is. We are on this earth for a limited amount of days and then we are supposed to go to where we really belong. I believe for me that is Heaven. I believe that I do not belong to this world because I belong with God. This world isn’t mine. I don’t really want it to be mine. I have never once felt comfortable being in this world and I’m okay with that. I’m actually happy about it. Why would you want to be comfortable in the world where they tell you who to be and what to do? Why do I have to hide my true self? Why do you have to stop liking the things you like because society tells you it’s wrong? If you like it, then like it. Who cares what others think? They are probably too busy trying to hide the things they like. I swear if we all just stopped caring about what others are thinking, it would be a marvelous place. While you are wondering what others are thinking, others are wondering what you are thinking. It’s just a mess.
You were never meant to belong to a world where they try to stifle who you really are. Stop trying to fit into a society where they put you in a box that’s too small for you. Don’t belong to a world where they keep telling you that you are wrong. You shouldn’t have to hide your light. If you ever feel left out and you know that you just don’t belong here, it’s a good thing. Why would you want to be included in a world that expects everyone to be clones of a figure that is impossible to replicate? You don’t have to like the things other people like. You don’t have throw yourself away. You shouldn’t throw yourself away. You were made to be different in a world that’s all the same. You were meant to not belong. You were meant to stand out and be someone that shows the world that belonging does not mean scratching away parts of you until there’s nothing left. The only person you belong to is yourself and God if you believe in that. You were made beautifully and there might be things about you that I don’t agree with but that’s fine. There are most likely parts about me that you don’t agree. It does not matter. I don’t have to agree and neither do you. You are who you are and there are people out there that love you for just being yourself. Don’t try so hard. If certain people don’t love you, then whatever, be gone with ye peasants. If people aren’t letting you be who you are then those people shouldn’t be in your life. Use the crop tool in your editing menu and just crop them out of there. Bye bye, people that shouldn’t be in my life, bye bye.
I have come to believe that my home is with God. God loves me for who I am even in my brokenness and my shame. God lets me be me and still loves me. He actually loves me for the fact that I am me. I believe that God made you to be an individual not a part of a faceless crowd. God loves it when he can see you. He doesn’t want to be searching for his son or daughter that he made to stand out. He should just look and be like, “Woop, there you are, you beautiful creation of mine, I see you being all awesome and not being someone else. Go you.”
Don’t cripple yourself in order to belong to this corrupt and insensitive world. You wear the shirt you want to wear, you like the things you want to like, you read the books you want to read, you listen to the music you want to listen to, you talk to people you want to talk to, you love the things you want to love and just be yourself. You do you.