Hey guys, double posting, I know, after months of not posting anything. What is this madness?
But I just wanted to post this poem because I’m feeling it. This was inspired by my good friend, Lauren Irwin and her post for the Odyssey.
When you left, I wish you would’ve closed the door. I woke up to the cold breeze and empty promises you left, forgotten on the counter.
You shouldn’t have kissed me goodnight and left me in hopes that you’ll still be there when the morning light crept through the blinds.
Now what do I do with the empty spaces you abandoned? Outlined with dust, there are still signs that you once lived here.
As I smooth out the creases of the bed sheets where you once laid and I wash the pillow of your smell, I feel my shoulders aching from still having to carry the life of us you left behind. As you walk through the streets, weightless and free, I am condemned to live with this sentence with no period.
Am I still in love with you? How can I still be in love with a ghost?
No, I am wiping away parts of you with every step I took towards the door but like a ghost, you still haunt me from time to time.
As I fall in love with another, I am still smeared with colors of you.
It seems that I am unable to completely rid myself of you. In my words, in my actions, in my thoughts, you still remain. Ever so slightly altering my heart’s desires.
I am reminded of you every time I slowly make my way out of bed, collect my things, and carefully tip toe to the door.
But I will not let you win.
As I leave, I will smooth out my own creases, I will kiss my lover on the head as if to rid their mind of ever loving me, I will dust away the memories of me as if I was never there, I will wipe away any colors of me I left behind, I will not carve my name into the walls, I will leave no permanence behind, then finally, I will close the door so no one will have to wake to the cold welcoming of silence.